Thus Defiled

I was going to write a gig review today. Last night I was supposed to see Eternal Lord, Annotations Of An Autopsy, Khalo and Seraph Impaled at the Peel in Kingston. Unfortunately someone seemed to forget to tell any of the bands that they were supposed to be playing. Pitched up at the venue to find pretty much no fucker there, and a distinctly non-metal band rehearsing or summat on the stage. With a bird singing "Take another little piece of my heart, now baby". Yes, a Dusty Springfield song. Not metal. Bastards. I was really looking forward to that 'n all. Fuck knows what happened, the Peel's website still definitely said the gig was on last night. So, now I need to write about a band instead, and considering the metal-related mood that put me in I figure it's an opportunity to slag someone off rather than rave about them. Step forward, then, Thus Defiled.

Thus Defiled came to my attention because they're headlining an all day black/death metal mini-fest in Camden in 3 weeks time and I thought I'd give a bit of a listen to each band on the bill. Now maybe I'm being a bit premature in saying I'm gonna slag them off, but nothing's going to change my opinion of the first song I heard by them. It's their cover of Slayer's Black Magic, and it's just terrible. Really really bad. I hate it with a passion. But perhaps it's not fair of me to just base my opinion on that, so I'll give some other songs a listen while I'm writing this.

Well. "... And They Shall Fear The Night" is OK. Not appalling. I guess my biggest problem, truth be told, is that they're black metal. Not death metal and not grindcore. And in the main I find black metal to be toss. Fucking hell, this song goes on a bit 'n all, 9 minutes for crying out loud. NEXT.

Oh jesus. Black Magic comes on first on their myspace page. It's JUST SO BAD. NEXT.

OK, that's it then. I just don't like them. I'm listening to Astaroth now and there are a bunch of good riffs in there but I just can't get into them. Damn black metal. If they're proper corpsepainted-up live then I'd probably enjoy their show but I'm gonna have to just stop now.

I don't imagine for a moment anyone from the band will ever read this, but just in case, don't take it personally boys. You've got a record coming out and are headlining that fest and things are clearly going well, because a bunch of people clearly do like you. But I don't. And like I said above, I'm supposed to be writing about death metal and grindcore here, not black metal anyway, so just forget everything I said. Especially if, as my flatmate reckons is likely, you happen to run into me in Kingston or at a gig at some point. Ahem. No hard feelings, eh?

• myspace.com/thusdefiled
• www.thusdefiled.com

Heinous Killings

Tricky to decide who to write about today. Off to a gig tonight so it was tempting to write about one of the bands on the bill, but that can wait until tomorrow. I considered writing about Lividity after spending a while in the pub last night discussing their somewhat unique take on attracting the ladies; I thought I could knock up a bit about Skinless 'cos that's the shirt I'm wearing; and I pondered writing a few paragraphs slagging off Thus Defiled because, frankly, I think they're rubbish. But finally I plumped for a band I'd never heard of 4 days ago. Because yesterday was all about the logo, today has to be about the vocals. Specifically, the most guttural filth since, well, since Cock and Ball Torture at least. Heinous Killings's vocalist makes a fucking inhuman racket. A porcine racket indeed.

This stuff's great. Really fucking good. I've got it on as I type, and there's a bit of a pattern emerging. Each song starts with fairly, shall we say, normal death metal vocals... but as they progress they descend, until a couple of minutes in he pulls out the pig guns. This guy has sty(le). He probably reckons bands who squeal or scream are wankers. He might have a point.

As it goes the music's mint 'n all. Fast. Decent riffs. No solos, which is fine by me. They've got their place but I'm sure I've heard more rubbish solos in death metal than good ones, so leaving 'em out isn't such a bad thing. And I do like bands who have intros containing samples from news stories and stuff, plus I've a bit of a penchant for bands that sing about real murderers. Macabre have always been a fave and Screamin' Daemon aren't bad (although neither band has really impressed me live :-( in fact I thought Macabre were fucking terrible, a real disappointment considering I waited something like 13 years to see them in the UK), so Possessed To Kill is already a favourite. Oh, and as well as on myspace you can listen to it from the page about their album (Hung With Barbwire) on Unmatched Brutality's site 'n all. Proper. In fact, fucking hell, this sounds superb. Best add this to my previously-non-existent list of albums to buy when I'm next in the States, innit.

• myspace.com/heinouskillings
• Unmatched Brutality -- their record label. Someone distribute these guys in the UK! And get 'em touring! Oi, Arcane Promotions, get on the case!

Crepitation

Oh, Crepitation. Crepitation Crepitation Crepitation. I loved you the first moment I set eyes on you, and by "you" I mean your phenomenal logo. Most bands logos are, well, they're not bad. They're alright. They'll do. But yours, oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH. It was at Skinless's gig in Croydon where I first saw the shirt. The logo so indecipherable one of my companions had to go ask the wearer what band it was. I'd love you even if I were deaf and I bought your shirt before I ever saw you play.

So that's it then. Game over. The fight for "most indecipherable band logo" has been won and there's little point in trying to outdo these bastards. If there's a technique to coming up with logos like this I can only think that it's "get a box of matches and throw them on a table". Or "take a photo of some trees with no leaves on".

When I wore my Crepitation shirt to work I had to have my Yahoo! Messenger status line say "My t-shirt says 'Crepitation'", to fend off the hordes of "What the fuck does that say?" questions.

Damn. I realise I'm being hugely superficial about this mob. How laddish of me to concentrate purely on looks when underneath this beautiful exterior there's a serious bit of scallycore going on too. Only one song on their myspace profile at the moment but it's an oinkfest of the highest order. Live they're not bad either -- saw them in Camden between Christmas and New Year at that Anti-Christmas Grind Ethic bash and they fucking ruled.

As they were setting up I thought we were going to be treated to death metal played by a threesome of short-haired hoodied-up mall warriors, but with a tiny bit of disappointment it turned out the bassist (IIRC) had a ponytail and the vocals were provided by yer actual heavy metal (stereo)types. The good news was there were 2 vocalists though, that's almost always a winning situation. Think 3 Inches Of Blood. Think Extreme Noise Terror. And now, think Crepitation. Mind you they didn't last the whole set, as the last few songs were indeed performed as a 3-piece, and were no lower quality for it. Got to say, on that night Crepitation were the best band whose set I saw in its entirety (had to leave 2 songs into Amputated so I can't honestly say they were definitely the best band of the night).

I would never have been ashamed to sport a shirt with that logo on it, but the fact the music lives up to the graphics is a proper bonus. Simply put, Crepitation appear to have it all. Tunes? Check. Oinking? Check. Indecipherable logo? The best one. Pick-and-mix genre tagging? Check (GARGANTUAN UK SLAM DEATH BRUTALITY!!!). Full marks lads.

• myspace.com/crepitation
• crepitation.co.uk
  

Infected Disarray

Not really sure what to make of this band name. Infected Disarray? What does that mean? Ah, who cares. The logo's not bad, although a bit too legible for my liking.

But what of the tunes? Well, they're a bit challenging. It's verging on proper hard work giving these fuckers a listen. Check out Gestated Human Slurry -- there's some seriously odd timings going on there. Not to mention a bit of Seinfeld-esque slap bass. Nice filthy vocals, lead guitar a bit too far back in the mix but that could be just the shitty speakers on my laptop. Cracking ending though. And of course it's a large song title, but that's because this mob are masters of the large song title. Slight confusion regarding the name of the band is forgotten when confronted with the aforementioned, plus gems such as Masticated Remains of Detruncation (translation: the remains of a bit of the body that's been lopped off and chewed up), Side Order Of Flies, and Viscous Dermal Tissues Necrotising In Venereal Quagmire.

As an aside, I really like the word viscous. It's not only a great word in itself, with a really nasty feel to it, but a friend of mine once made the typo -- I hope -- of claiming to have just done a really viscous fart. Laugh? I nearly shat. Which seems apt.

Anyway, much like every death metal band I've come across recently, Infected Disarray have embraced the latest trend in describing their music, pigeon-holing, genre definition. The technique seems to be similar to playing with poetry fridge magnets: simply take a bag full of words related, even tangentially, to metal, pick four or five out at random and arrange into something that makes the least nonsense. Accordingly ID describe themselves as SICKENING BRUTAL BLASTING DEATH GRIND!!! Good effort lads.

Infected Disarray, then. Hurry up and announce some gigs y'bastards.

• myspace.com/infecteddisarray
• infecteddisarray.co.uk -- shame their graphics guy couldn't spell "discography" :-(
• grindethic.co.uk -- same label as Fleshrot, innit
  

Cock and Ball Torture

Jesus unicycling Christ these fuckers make me laugh. I've listened to them sober, I've listened to them drunk, I've listened to them hungover, and it never fails. Step forward the band that most makes me want to form a record label called Trough, Cock and Ball Torture.

That rarest of types -- Germans with a sense of humour -- these lads might not have an indecipherable logo but that's more than made up for by having a suitably unpleasant name, the sort of thing you don't want to search for from your work PC, or leave in your google toolbar when you take a screenshot of something to send to your mother. It's nice that their official website comes up first when I search for it, 'cos I'm glad not to have to trawl through pages and pages of things like this:

1. Cock torture cbt trampling of balls and ball squeezing clamps cocktorture.
   Cock torture and ball torture femdom. Submissive men get their balls crushed and trampled. ... ENTER COCK TORTURE. Links: More Female domination and cock torture ...


2. Cock and ball torture - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
   Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. ... stories dealing with Cock & Ball Torture, Ballbusting and FemDom ...

when searching for them. Nice.

Anyway. Do this lot oink? Do they fucking ever. I dunno how he manages but this vocalist sounds like a family of pigs at feeding time. I've never heard vocals like it. I mean, really. There's a few tunes on their myspace page (pretty shitty sound on there) and more on the media page of their appalling-to-navigate website and have a listen. I defy anyone to not piss themselves laughing. The vocals at the start of the wonderfully named Anal Sex Terror, for example. The music's not half bad either. I mean I can't claim to be blown away by it, but that's possibly because I can't really concentrate on or hear it, beneath the vocals and my howls of laughter. The main riff in Poontang Clan sounds like a rip-off of something though, definitely familiar.

They're a touring band, internationally, which is handy. From their blog I see that they were meant to play last summer in the UK with Gorerotted but it fell through, and it doesn't seem like they've any dates lined up soon. Shame. It's not a phrase I ever really imagined I'd be saying but it seems I've no choice: I want to see Cock and Ball Torture live. Now lets see what ads google shoves on this entry.

• myspace.com/cockandballtorture
• cockandball.de

Fleshrot

Death metal in the mid/late-90s, and maybe even early 00s, was shit.

Roadrunner were partly to blame. IIRC they churned out a few too many death metal bands that all sounded the same, thanks to Morrisound and Scott Burns. The Scando reaction was to start church-burning and killing each other while making shit music, and in the UK Cradle of Filth became famous for having better t-shirts than tunes. I could never give much black metal the time of day; when I saw Emperor in London in 1997 I thought they were a load of toss. So perhaps I gave up on death metal, but only because it was almost all bollocks.

Except it wasn't, really. It was just hiding. And a funny thing happened in 2006. In August, to be precise. I got a new flatmate and the first Saturday after he moved in I had nowt planned for the evening. Neither did he. On a random whim I thought I'd check out the Peel's website and see if there was owt on. And owt was on; an Extreme Metal night.

Fleshrot were playing.

I hold Fleshrot responsible for the renewed vigour I find in myself when it comes to death metal. They're to blame for everything, including ultimately the existence of this blog. They played a fucking blinding set that night in Kingston, and acted as my portal back into the world of death metal, especially UK death metal.

It didn't start well. They looked like a stoner band. The singer came on just walking, not bounding. There was no energy and we couldn't see his eyes, as he just stood by the mike with his hair draped over his face. But once the intro riff went away it was a full on oinkfest of the highest calibre and I went home proper invigorated by what I'd seen.

So look, I'm not a proper journalist, and truth be told when it comes to music criticism I can't really do that good a job. I just want to call attention to the bands I find out about, and at the same time call a spade a spade. In this instance that means saying this: Fleshrot play good death metal, and oink like bastards.

Soon after seeing them I dropped them an email via an address I got off their website. To date they're still the only band I've got in touch with (actually that's a lie; the singer from NecroRitual wants to buy me a pint for putting videos of them up on youtube) but it was phenomenally encouraging. Here's a cut-down version of the exchange we had (no words changed, just some taken out for brevity):

Hey Fleshrot - saw you guys at the Peel last Saturday and thought you were totally superb. You going to have t-shirts on sale at the Cartoon next week?

Glad you enjoyed it mate, hopefully we will have some tees available on the 23rd, if not,we have just recieved our new artowrk for our upcoming album, so [...]

New artwork? Hope you're not changing your logo!

erm, we are kind of, [...]

All I really care about is that the band name remains almost indechiperable.

hahah yeh man, itl be even more undreadable!!

These boys obviously get it. Fleshrot, I salute you. I've seen you live twice -- and it would have been 3 times if you'd not "called in sick" to that gig in Camden on Dec 29th -- and I'll see you again, no doubt.

• Fleshrot.org - their official website


• myspace.com/fleshrot


• grindethic.co.uk - their label/distro

Oinking and squealing

There seems to be a death metal and grindcore renaissance going on these days and I love it. So, until such times as I inevitably just can't be arsed keeping this going any more, here's my attempt at briefly reviewing and publicising (hah!) the bands I come across. It's less than a month old but 2007 looks like being, as Annihilator claim, "The Year That Metal Returned In Full Force, With A Vengeance!!!", and that's a bandwagon I'm happy to jump on.

Mind you, as large as Annihilator are -- that fucking appalling third album notwithstanding (ignore the reviews on Amazon, those people are wrong) -- they mean metal in general. And while they may be right (I'm looking forward to seeing the Love/Hate reunion more than most people I know) I'm being a little more specific here. This blog is about bands with vocalists that sound like stuck pigs. Bands with unreadable logos and incomprehensible lyrics. Bands obsessed with gore or violence or misanthropy or chauvinism or just plain offensiveness for the sake of it. But mainly the logos and the sounding like pigs.

It's about Fleshrot and Crepitation. It's about Blasphtized, Beef Conspiracy and Lividity. It's about Cock and Ball Torture and Despondency. It's about Anoxia and Annotations Of An Autopsy. It's about oinkers and fucking squealers. Bring forth metal!